''Me Time'' Versus Stressful Times

Finally, the weekend dawned upon me. I could ignore the world and curl up in bed with a good book and a nice cup of tea. Then when I fancied it I could plant myself in front of the television and watch trash. Bliss!

If I am honest, I could really use the time. Mostly because I can't properly recall how we ended up in July. Everything was kind of clear until mid-June and before I knew it we were in July. Then I had a serious "what the fuck moment" as I wondered if it hadn't been mid-June a moment ago.

In fact I had been so busy in those weeks: a big task here, an important event there, socializing there and some work thrown in between. I hadn't had an opportunity to reflect on these events and so they had become blurred.

This Saturday I sat down and delightfully opened my book. Now I could submerge myself into the story, get lost between the pages and ignore the world around me! Nothing could bother me any more, I deserve this time for myself!

But then the twat of my brain cleared its throat, "I don't want to interrupt but ..." and before I knew it I remembered that there were quite a few tasks left. "How dare you think about relaxing now??!," my brain scolded me.

I began to wonder if I do the shopping now and as soon as I get home I try to squeeze in writing a tribe post while hydrating for my bike ride. Oh, and don't forget to wish someone a happy birthday and buy a gift for someone else. There are still some dishes left to wash as well. Tomorrow you need to consider what to write for the blog, I am just saying ... Maybe then you can enjoy your book if you still have the energy ...

This - I am afraid - is real life. I love preaching "take your time, self-care is soooo important" but at the end of the day, I am a bit of a hypocrite.

This is called "being self-aware"

The problem is that I can't properly relax if I know that there is so much left undone. The tasks can only be ignored for so long, sooner or later my brain is going to tap me on the shoulder to remind me again. Then add that some weeks are simply going to be cluttered because of circumstance or working double shifts there is not going to be enough time left for proper "me time." Should there finally be a moment of peace and quiet, I am too exhausted to even think about watching The X-Files, or reading a book after work.

We all know that we do need some time to recharge. When life is as it is as the moment, I try to take comfort in smaller things: the cat being especially cuddly, listening too a good song too loud and on repeat, driving with an open window on an empty road with my sunnies on, buying cute flower shorts, watching Alonso do magic tricks on YouTube while sitting on the train home - this is a theoretical example, I am not admitting that I did that - or after cycling making a silly Instagram story about my unending love of water.

I definitely did that

Furthermore, I am more gentle when it comes to tasks that involve hobbies. Those are the goals I set myself, and I learnt the hard way that I am the only stress factor. Nobody is going to skin me if I upload a photo too late, or don't update the fic just yet.

Then in some of the tasks there is validation. I admit that cycling for an hour is quite time consuming, especially if you take in account that afterwards you need to shower, find your clothes and drown yourself in water. In theory the time can be used writing a blog post instead. However, I find it relaxing and afterwards feel far better. And so, one task less as well.

Last but hardly least is that you need to keep in mind that life is not always like this. Some weeks clutter together and suddenly every possible task has been thrown on top of you at the same time. Luckily, this is only going to last so long. In the meantime, take joy in the small things, happiness in small steps, and count down the days until you get a breather.